If, in a Moment of Insanity, I Should Dye

Two people in this lifetime you should never keep waiting are your attorney and your hairdresser. Without a doubt, you never ever want to get your hairdresser mad at you. (Think hair cut from the Underworld or hair style like a rock star!)

If you are–like me–totally incompetent at styling your own hair, you realize that your hairdresser is your best friend. (Hopefully, you rarely need the services of your lawyer except to draw up your will and assist with the purchase of your house so we’ll now proceed to the important area of your hair color!)

At any rate, in the olden days when I was delusional to the point that I believed I could dye my own hair, I actually tried it on several occasions. Born with mousey brown hair, I have had my hair frosted, auburn, blonde and once, mistakenly black!

A number of years ago I was working at a daily newspaper when I dyed my hair light auburn. It was a semi-permanent rinse so had no dire consequences. Feeling much too self-confident, I decided that the color should be just a bit darker and bought a permanent auburn dye. When my hair was once again dry after this 45-minute procedure, I looked into the mirror and screamed, “My hair is black! Aaaaaugh!!”

Indeed, my hair was not a dark brown or gorgeous auburn, as I had falsely envisioned. It was coal black. I looked as if my next assignment should have been to interview a vampire.

Hastily, I called Clairol Hot Line and sobbed that I need help immediately. The super-confident voice on the other end of the phone advised me to purchase a certain color that should fix the problem. I raced to the drugstore and bought the potion.

Guess what! My hair came out even blacker, if possible. By then it was midnight and I had to go to work the next day. No more experiments were possible.

The next day I crept into my office and hoped no one would notice. Of course, the guys in the newsroom could not let this opportunity pass. “Who’s the new girl in Sue’s office?” one shouted. Another answered, “Must be someone from the local witches’ coven.”

The teasing went on throughout the day. (Never mind harassment laws. In those days we’d never heard of them!)

I finally called a local hairdresser who rescued me and admonished me to never, ever dye my own hair again.

Lesson learned, believe me! I was truly traumatized for life.

I have heard of other women who tried to dye their own hair only to have it turn orange or green or even purple!

Ladies, it’s just not worth the risk. Find the best hairdresser you can. Put yourself in her hands and learn how to pray if you didn’t know before. It is possible for hairdressers to have disasters too, you know, but it’s much less likely than if you try on your own.

Not to split hairs, but take it from me. The hair you save may be your own!!